Te Deum Laudamus

Te Deum laudamus:
te Dominum confitemur.
Te aeternum Patrem
omnis terra veneratur.
Tibi omnes Angeli;
tibi caeli et universae Potestates;
Tibi Cherubim et Seraphim
incessabili voce proclamant:
Sanctus, Sanctus, Sanctus,
Dominus Deus Sabaoth.
Pleni sunt caeli et terra
maiestatis gloriae tuae.
Te gloriosus Apostolorum chorus,
Te Prophetarum laudabilis numerus,
Te Martyrum candidatus laudat exercitus.
Te per orbem terrarum
sancta confitetur Ecclesia,
Patrem immensae maiestatis:
Venerandum tuum verum et unicum Filium;
Sanctum quoque Paraclitum Spiritum.
Tu Rex gloriae, Christe.
Tu Patris sempiternus es Filius.
Tu ad liberandum suscepturus hominem,
non horruisti Virginis uterum.
Tu, devicto mortis aculeo,
aperuisti credentibus regna caelorum.
Tu ad dexteram Dei sedes, in gloria Patris.
Iudex crederis esse venturus.
Te ergo quaesumus, tuis famulis subveni:
quos pretioso sanguine redemisti.
Aeterna fac cum sanctis tuis in gloria numerari.

Salvum fac populum tuum,
Domine, et benedic hereditati tuae.
Et rege eos, et extolle illos usque in aeternum.
Per singulos dies benedicimus te;
Et laudamus Nomen tuum in saeculum, et in saeculum saeculi.
Dignare, Domine, die isto sine peccato nos custodire.
Miserere nostri Domine, miserere nostri.
Fiat misericordia tua,
Domine, super nos, quemadmodum speravimus in te.
In te, Domine, speravi:
non confundar in aeternum.

 

We praise thee, O God :
we acknowledge thee to be the Lord.
All the earth doth worship thee :
the Father everlasting.
To thee all Angels cry aloud :
the Heavens, and all the Powers therein.
To thee Cherubim and Seraphim :
continually do cry,
Holy, Holy, Holy :
Lord God of Sabaoth;
Heaven and earth are full of the Majesty :
of thy glory.
The glorious company of the Apostles : praise thee.
The goodly fellowship of the Prophets : praise thee.
The noble army of Martyrs : praise thee.
The holy Church throughout all the world :
doth acknowledge thee;
The Father : of an infinite Majesty;
Thine honourable, true : and only Son;
Also the Holy Ghost : the Comforter.
Thou art the King of Glory : O Christ.
Thou art the everlasting Son : of the Father.
When thou tookest upon thee to deliver man :
thou didst not abhor the Virgin’s womb.
When thou hadst overcome the sharpness of death :
thou didst open the Kingdom of Heaven to all believers.
Thou sittest at the right hand of God : in the glory of the Father.
We believe that thou shalt come : to be our Judge.
We therefore pray thee, help thy servants :
whom thou hast redeemed with thy precious blood.
Make them to be numbered with thy Saints : in glory everlasting.

O Lord, save thy people :
and bless thine heritage.
Govern them : and lift them up for ever.
Day by day : we magnify thee;
And we worship thy Name : ever world without end.
Vouchsafe, O Lord : to keep us this day without sin.
O Lord, have mercy upon us : have mercy upon us.
O Lord, let thy mercy lighten upon us :
as our trust is in thee.
O Lord, in thee have I trusted :
let me never be confounded.

My Farewell Letter to 2011

‎2011 -

It is your last hour on this side of the planet. Sadly, no one is living this last hour for you.
All have set their eyes and hopes on your successor.
But do not weep.
Whatever is left of your 12-month life will forever be etched in memory and in history.
Both in the collective memory and history of this increasingly connected world…
And in our own personal memories and histories…

Whatever has been said and done, harbored in the heart with love or rancor,
All cannot be undone. For good or ill, your mark will carry the force of momentum
That may chart the course of our destinies in 2012 and beyond,
Save, should it be changed by our own freedom, or the will of God.

I do not carry with me any regret, nor bear ill-will against you, 2011.
The stroke of midnight brings with it your death,
And at death, with Tosca I say to you – I forgive you.

For whatever it was, my romance and my adventure with you, 2011
I shall cherish it with the sentimentality of a sage, the joy of a jester, and the grimness of a god.

At the stroke of midnight, 2011, I will take up new pen, and write a new history.

Good bye, 2011. Rest well in the annals of history, and in the minds of all who breathed during your regime.

2012 approaches…

Emmanuel: Transforming the Ordinary

There is an article on http://blog.acton.org/archives/28228-rev-sirico-contemplating-christmas.html posted by a certain John Couretas. It was written by one Rev. Robert Sirico. The following lines struck me from the article, and I quote, “The challenge of Christmas is not to wait for a God who with shouts, trumpets and great fanfare will attract our attention, but to search for the One who comes discretely and must be carefully discerned in the midst of everyday lives.”

This quote spurred some reflection on the immense impact of the Incarnation of the Son of God.

First of all, the impact of the Incarnation – of God being really in our midst, partaking of the most ordinary part of our lives – must be experienced before we can enter into any form of relationship with God, much more adopting a Christian spirituality. Barring sinful actions we may commit in any given day, try listing down all the ordinary things you do on a daily basis. You wake up, you do your toilet, you take a bath. You eat, you walk, you greet your family, you go to work. You get tired, you get bored, you long for your friends, you have dinner with friends, sometimes with a couple of drinks. On special days you probably attended a wedding, danced with some people, and the like. There are days you go on long trips to unwind. On Sundays you go to church. In the evenings you come home, tired, barely lying on your bed when you start snoring.

Imagine Jesus doing ALL of that too. And for most of His life – a good thirty years of it – he did all that. His life was the daily rhythm of Jewish life, shaped by religious laws, cultural practices, and the Roman shadow hanging above all of them. Surely he must have had to pay taxes too! He went to funerals, to circumcisions, to parties.

This is what Christmas is all about: God – the immense, transcendent, all powerful, all knowing enters into the ordinary. Christmas should bring home the realization that God’s intent is not to be part of your Sunday Masses only. Nor is He part of your rising and your sleeping only. Christmas is the faith-evidence that God wants to be part of our lives – in the most ordinary, mundane routines of our lives, notwithstanding the special moments.

And this is the first challenge: Not that God becomes present to us, because God’s omnipresence and Christmas itself makes Him present to us at all times. The challenge is to make ourselves present to God. Only when we can make ourselves present to Him – conscious of Him on an increasingly continuous basis – can we say that we have begun to enter in a relationship with God.

Secondly, if we want God to truly transform our lives – to save us – then we must make ourselves more and more open to Him.

Mary Most Holy, while truly immaculate, could have lost all that much like Eve (who was created immaculate too).  But our Lady exercised her freedom not to “take the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil” so that she “can become like God.”  Rather, our Lady exercised her freedom to choose God and to make herself completely available to God and His Will. When she said, “Behold the handmaid (slave girl) of the Lord, be it done unto me according to your word,” she meant it completely.

And with that she becomes the only one full of grace – saved in a preeminent way – saved upon her conception, and carried over until her Assumption.  Her complete openness allowed her to be filled with the Holy Spirit so completely, to become the Mother of God. And so she fully possessed God. In her the mystery and message of the Incarnation is complete.

But we too can share in that privilege. If we strive everyday to make less space for sin, and more space for God, then we can begin to experience salvation. God becomes more and more “with us.”

This Christmas, it is my personal prayer that we all begin to draw closer to God who is in the ordinary – as ordinary as a helpless child in swaddling clothes – and experience transformation as we allow more space for Him.  If there is room in the “inn” of our hearts, then for sure, Christ will be “born” in you, and you will begin the journey of true liberation under the loving, watchful eyes of the Father.

And then, certainly, the Light has dawned on  you, and you will then and forever be transformed.

Happy Christmas!

The Gifts of Nine Mornings

For someone who hates being awake at 3 o’clock in the morning, I have found myself rising from slumber around that time to prepare myself for our parish’s 4:30am Dawn Mass. Ever since I could remember, I have always wanted to complete the Christmas Novena. To date, this year was only the third time in my entire life that I was able to complete it. This year was particularly special, because in all the nine masses, I was permitted to serve as a Lector/Commentator. And in all the masses, I was able to assist at Lauds.

This actually explains why I rise at 3am. Not only did I have to do my usual morning toilet. I had to make sure I was in church by 4am to prepare myself for the celebration – mentally, spiritually, and logistically. Upon arriving, I would sign off on the attendance sheet of the Lectors/Commentators ministry. Then I would check the logistical requirements of my assignment. If I was the Commentator, I would review the flow of that morning’s liturgy, the announcements I would have to make, and the like. If I was a Lector, I would prepare and review the Lectionary. I would also double check my Breviary for that day’s Lauds. After that, I would settle down for a few minutes of meditation following some writings of St. Alphonsus di Liguori.

As the days of the Christmas Novena progressed, I found myself encountering various situations in my ordinary life where my faith-in-action would be challenged. There were many instances when I had to struggle with impatience – my perennial flaw. In many things I am patient. But in committed appointments, in having to repeat instructions, and in slowness of intellectual pick up (borne of my intellectual pride), ah, here I am weakest.

I had to grapple with a few instances where my pride was pricked. While it was through no fault of my own, I had to choose between the magnanimity of letting things pass, and the ordinary right for vindication. I had to wrestle with the lazy stupor that comes with the holidays. Even my fight for temperance and continence almost felt like a losing battle. In short, I had become keenly aware of the dark side of my self – that side that I have reserved to myself, to my own personal sense of right and pleasure; that side I have not laid before the Lord Jesus.

This awareness was precisely my first blessing from the Lord in this Christmas Novena. I have acquired, by the working of the Holy Spirit, a deeper understanding of just how bad a person I could be. Has this awareness led me to compunction? I don’t know. God alone knows just how contrite I am now. One thing is for sure – I felt helpless. I felt like I wanted to be better, if not just good, but I couldn’t find the willpower to sustain it.

from http://www.osst-abbey.org/memorare

And this helplessness brought me to the second grace of this Christmas Novena. In the last nine mornings, I have felt more keenly the presence of Mary Most Holy, my mother and the Mother of the Lord. This feeling reached its peak in one Dawn Mass where the choir sang the Memorare. And as I sang-prayed with them, I knew with greater conviction that as I desire to become more and more like Christ-for-God and Christ-for-others, our Lady would be my sure and constant guide, advocate, and protectress.

And finally, our Lady’s maternal presence brought me the third grace of this Christmas Novena. She probably asked it of the Spirit, for now I have a strong desire to expand my heart – my entire being – to make more and more space for God to dwell and act in and through me. More of God, less of self – this is the desire that the Spirit must have planted in me by the prodding of Mary Most Holy.

For this three-fold grace, I am already grateful. It is truly an affirmation that God continues to work in my life – using both moments of desolation and consolation – for me to encounter Him and enable me to continue this journey of faith.

The Christmas Novena is one made in honor of the Blessed Virgin Mary, who for nine months carried the Incarnate God in her immaculate womb. It is a celebration of waiting, of joyful expectation. It is a time too, to lay before our Lady and her Child our prayers. But now it is not just a moment of waiting, it has become truly an encounter with the Lord. It is no longer just a period of petition, but also that of praise. For the God I sought was waiting to be found, that we may meet. For my petitions were ready to be granted, that His love and mercy may forever be sung.

Come, Lord Jesus, and find a bigger, cleaner, fresher room in my heart this Christmas. After all, it was your Mother and your Spirit who cleaned it up for Your coming.

*** *** ***

Remember, O Most Gracious Virgin Mary,
That never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection
Implored they help or sought thine intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of Virgins, my Mother;
To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful.
O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
Despise not my petitions,
But in thy mercy, hear and answer me.
Amen.

*** *** ***

For another interpretation of the Memorare, check this out:

We Will No Longer Wither Nor Fade

‎”The grass withers, the flower fades, when the breath of the LORD blows upon it; surely the people is grass. The grass withers, the flower fades; but the word of our God will stand for ever.” (Isaiah 40:7-8)

Thus says the Prophet Isaiah… And it is true. UNTIL the Incarnation. For when the Son – the Word – of God was made flesh, then all flesh is no longer as ephemeral as the grass. Because of the Incarnation, He who shared in our humanity gives us the chance to partake of His Divinity. Because of the Incarnation of the Son of God, when the breath of the LORD blows on the flesh, it is quickened unto eternal life.

The Strange Thing About Christian Love

The gospel today recounts an incident when our Lord was challenged by the Pharisees – the teachers of the Law: Which is the greatest commandment?

Our Lord replies, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets.” (Matthew 22:34-40)

My thoughts rest on the dominant word in our Lord’s response, “Love.” The The original Greek of the text is “agapeseis,” which translates to “you shall be loving.” The root, evidently, is “agape.”

Years before the birth of our Lord, the ancient Greeks referred to “agape” as the feelings that one has for a spouse, one’s children, family, or household – even for that of a good meal.

Perhaps that can be a good point of reflection today: Is my love for the Lord and for others like that of one’s love for spouse, children, or family? Such love means sacrifice for, zealous protection of, a desire to bring constant joy and laughter to, a willingness to suffer with the one you love. That, after all, is my understanding of “family.”

Is my love for the Lord and for others a love that gives me joy and satisfaction – just like a good meal?

Oh well, that’s a lot to think about in itself. That’s the strange thing about Christian Love – it’s like that of a family and a good meal…

And for those of you who are like me struggling with love, perhaps the best starting point would be the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass… After all, it is a gathering of God’s family and a sacred meal, where we feed on Christ Himself, who offered himself up as spouse and food for all of us.

And then by frequent  participation, the grace of our masses would – could – teach our hearts to love as He loves…

The Invitation (Part-2)

It was the Third of May, 2009. It was the third day after I first heard the Call. Since that first time two days prior, I had resolved to take up the issue of the Call with my Lord in a later prayer period.  But I had to wait for two days before He would bring it and discuss it with me in detail.  He and I had many other things on our agenda, and the many prayer periods in between were filled with so many revelations of Himself, and affirmations of his love for me.

The time had finally come. It was 12:40pm, and I had just finished my lunch.  This was going to be my thirteenth prayer period throughout this entire five-day retreat.  My Lord made it clear to me that Teach and Preach meant primarily to Evangelize – to Catechize.  By word and by music, my Lord desired that I be used to strengthen the worship life of the people I would come in contact with, the people I would serve, and to increase their knowledge of the Catholic Faith.

I recalled then that I had received a similar message in the past.  I mentioned this to my Lord. And He said, “Yes, but you wouldn’t take it seriously, postponing it.  You must act on it now. You’re not getting any younger.”

This, I was made to believe, was the kind of “priesthood” into which he was calling me then. It didn’t seem to be an ordained ministry.  It was an anointing, yes, but unto service and not unto ministry.  Then the Lord revealed to me a vision of how His plan for me would unfold.  It was a powerful vision, the details of which I am not wont to describe in detail for now. I knew then, as I knew now, that I had to build my life in teaching and training, in music and worship.  Everything that I will be doing should build to the realization of God’s plan for me.

The many prayer periods that followed, until the end of my retreat, were opportunities to strengthen my relationship and my discourses with Him.  We had many moments then, till now, where the Plan He has for my life would be discussed, enriched by many visions and affirmations.

I ended that retreat with two very important graces: The grace of my purpose, plan, my Call; and the grace of growing accustomed to my Lord’s voice.  Today, more than two years after that retreat, I still recall the prayer periods. I still recall God’s plan. Most definitely, I still recall His Voice.  And even in my present prayer life, I would know if the one who speaks in prayer is God or some other.

This is the plan that I am acting on now.  And my heart has become less restless, more rested, in the arms and heart of my God.

As to the state of life, that is one path that has taken a longer, much longer route.  And that is a story for another time.

The Invitation (Part-1)

It was the First of May, 2009 – a First Friday – when I received the first prompting of God’s mission for me. Call it my first encounter with the Invitation, if you will. I was in San Jose Seminary, inside the Ateneo de Manila University grounds. It was 2:35pm, and I was seated in front of the Lord Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament (the Seminary had Adoration Chapels/Rooms in every floor, and I was in the basement/”dungeon” area). Following the prayer material provided by my Spiritual Director, I began meditating on my selected Scriptural passage from the Gospel according to St. John, Chapter 1, verses 35 to 39. I reproduce it here for quick reference:

[35] The next day again John stood, and two of his disciples.
[36] And beholding Jesus walking, he saith: Behold the Lamb of God.
[37] And the two disciples heard him speak, and they followed Jesus.
[38] And Jesus turning, and seeing them following him, saith to them: What seek you? Who said to him, Rabbi, (which is to say, being interpreted, Master,) where dwellest thou?
[39] He saith to them: Come and see. They came, and saw where he abode, and they stayed with him that day: now it was about the tenth hour.

(Douay-Rheims Bible Translation)

I had just finished my first reading of the passage, dwelling on “Come and See.” I was recalling a Youth Encounter (YE) retreat I attended in High School. When I was reading the passage for the second time, however, the Lord drew my attention to one word from verse 36… “Behold.” Behold… As my consciousness started to latch on the word “Behold,” it began to be filled with the words “Teach” and “Preach.”

This revelation disturbed me, because I began associating it with the Priesthood. Many disturbing thoughts and memories began to surface in my meditation. But I had learned in my previous prayer periods that the only way to overcome this “noise” in my soul was to “fix my eyes” on Jesus Christ, like a drowning man holding to a rope that was wound around a strong, immovable Rock. And so I did, crying out to the Lord to save me.

When the initial tempest had passed, I heard the Lord’s voice – I have grown accustomed to His voice already, now in my second day of this five-day retreat. He assured me of His saving and healing Presence, and then assured me that I will be a priest – but not in the manner I expect or am accustomed to, and that in time, I will find out.

And then my period of prayer ended. I was disturbed, and I knew I would have to ask the Lord to elaborate this Call, this invitation to “Teach” and “Preach” and this manner of “priesthood.”

But now was not the time, and it would not be in the next prayer period that followed. I was to find out in a special way. As of the moment, however, it has pleased the Lord Jesus to simply disturb me.

A Trial of Love

Lord, I need to tell you something straight out:

It is so hard to love the unlovable, to love those who hurt and abuse you, to love those who oppress you, to love your enemies and betrayers.

If I had my way, I’d either walk out or retaliate.

But I can’t. Your Cross is so unfair… I look on it and it reminds me to love the unlovable, to love my enemies… Because You stretched your body on that Cross even when I was unlovable… Even when I was unworthy of anything good that comes from You.

Must I love, as You loved? Must I forgive as You forgave?

In the innermost recesses of my soul, I know the answer.

You loved me, You forgave me – a worm, and raised me up to become a son.

I have no right to treat others less, others who probably are much worthier than I am…

Lord, please… If you cannot make them more lovable, at least, give me the grace to make it easier to love.

“…whatsoever you would that men should do to you, do you also…” (Matthew 7:12)

How different this is from the other saying, “Do not do unto others what you do not want done unto you!”

The Lord Jesus Christ does not focus on the avoidance of doing what may be displeasing.

Rather, He commands us: Do good if you want good done unto you.

Don’t wait for others to be good or kind in general or towards you in particular.

Let all that is good, that is kind, begin with you… with me.

2,000 years before the movie, the Lord Jesus Christ has already commanded: Pay It Forward.

I only pray that my motivation for paying it forward is not any good I can receive in return.

May it always be for the love of the Lord Jesus. Always.